So I’m sitting here
in front of my incredible pile of a desk
watching my emotional thermostat
                                     slide
down the hill of my high
like a mountain of mud in the rain.

I feel my fingers dig in
and get no leverage.
I just fall
with it.
I’m never going to amount
to ANYONE
I’m screaming.

I never finish
anything.
I chicken out
before I begin.
I live in fear
of living.

I lift my pen
And set it down again
My charge
Is spent