I realize that the election is nearly upon us and the ads will begin getting even more crazy. So here are a few ideas for ads that I thought of
President George W Bush at a Middle East military post, reacts to a pipe bomb incident in Crawford, TX, speaking about “evil and violent aggression that threaten our national security and prosperity, and facing that threat with strength and without fear” hops into a Blackhawk helicopter with an Asian-American pilot, sitting next to a wasp co-pilot, where Bush is in the back with an African-American, Latino American, and two more wasps, one from the Mid West and another from the West. Of course there area several hammed up close ups of the president and the melting pot of soldiers. The Blackhawk rises ominously as the score blasts “Ride of the Valkyries”, a la Apocalypse Now. Soaring in the air, they fly over an American owned oil well, which is surrounded by starving Arabs begging for food and water. The M-60 on the Blackhawk is manned by Bush, screaming “Get some! Get some!” as he takes potshots at the impoverished destitutes, of course he drills some sheep and birds in the area. The private from the west quips in his slow, lazy western beach drawl, “Dude! That's our president!” As the last body falls, a large overweight white man comes out of the compound to throw away his trash, bearing a large smile and waving to the Blackhawk. “Thank you, George,” he bellows and returns. Inside the clear trash bag, we see half eaten TV dinners and half filled sodas and water jugs. The Blackhawk returns to the base and everyone gets out and hi-fives one another. The president is surrounded by a mixture races thereby legitimizing his civil and social priorities lie with any race. The private from the West also shows his false allegiance to California . “Together we can be an army and country of one, facing any evil aggression or threat in our midst,” he claims with his thumb up in recognition of a job well done. The screen goes black and then a slogan and voice over come up, GET SOME! Vote for George Bush.
John Kerry's ad is of course far more domestic. He exits out of a limousine that is filled with happy business men into a nice affluent neighborhood. He is dressed in a nice dress shirt, with a brown belt and khaki pants. He strolls around the neighborhood, shaking hands with everyone, all of whom address him by first name. He hugs the parapalegic, hands out money to a couple of down on their luck individuals, sends Jimmy Wilkins on a long bomb with his friends following close behind, helps old lady Edna with her groceries and play jump rope with some young girls. He waves to everyone and has a great big smile. He approaches his house, which the driveway is gated. His wife is waiting there with a big smile. She is surrounded by G-men with big guns. He enters the grounds and asks into the camera benevolently “Who says I am soft on defense?” The men are also in riot gear and leave the grounds as the gates close. The G-men take on a crowd of hungry and homeless people that have come to the gate for a handout. One of them is holding a newspaper with the headline “Bush has exhausted the Treasury in effort to rebuild Iraq , Sorry there is no more money for the U.S. ” The camera zooms back in on Kerry, which he says, “I am here for you because I am your friend.” His wife is by his side, smiling. Voice over says, Vote for your friend, vote for John Kerry.
Steve Snyder is an aspiring writer, unfortunately that is all he has going for him since he is a total loser. He is unemployed and lives on his mother's couch. He also drives a terrible car and usually gets around via his brother's moped. All of his friend's are figments of his imagination. Steve is single and has no prospects for love. He also cannot read or write. The highlight of his life is to mow his mother's front lawn in his underwear (what a weirdo!). But we hope you enjoy his work nonetheless.
President George W Bush at a Middle East military post, reacts to a pipe bomb incident in Crawford, TX, speaking about “evil and violent aggression that threaten our national security and prosperity, and facing that threat with strength and without fear” hops into a Blackhawk helicopter with an Asian-American pilot, sitting next to a wasp co-pilot, where Bush is in the back with an African-American, Latino American, and two more wasps, one from the Mid West and another from the West. Of course there area several hammed up close ups of the president and the melting pot of soldiers. The Blackhawk rises ominously as the score blasts “Ride of the Valkyries”, a la Apocalypse Now. Soaring in the air, they fly over an American owned oil well, which is surrounded by starving Arabs begging for food and water. The M-60 on the Blackhawk is manned by Bush, screaming “Get some! Get some!” as he takes potshots at the impoverished destitutes, of course he drills some sheep and birds in the area. The private from the west quips in his slow, lazy western beach drawl, “Dude! That's our president!” As the last body falls, a large overweight white man comes out of the compound to throw away his trash, bearing a large smile and waving to the Blackhawk. “Thank you, George,” he bellows and returns. Inside the clear trash bag, we see half eaten TV dinners and half filled sodas and water jugs. The Blackhawk returns to the base and everyone gets out and hi-fives one another. The president is surrounded by a mixture races thereby legitimizing his civil and social priorities lie with any race. The private from the West also shows his false allegiance to California . “Together we can be an army and country of one, facing any evil aggression or threat in our midst,” he claims with his thumb up in recognition of a job well done. The screen goes black and then a slogan and voice over come up, GET SOME! Vote for George Bush. 
John Kerry's ad is of course far more domestic. He exits out of a limousine that is filled with happy business men into a nice affluent neighborhood. He is dressed in a nice dress shirt, with a brown belt and khaki pants. He strolls around the neighborhood, shaking hands with everyone, all of whom address him by first name. He hugs the parapalegic, hands out money to a couple of down on their luck individuals, sends Jimmy Wilkins on a long bomb with his friends following close behind, helps old lady Edna with her groceries and play jump rope with some young girls. He waves to everyone and has a great big smile. He approaches his house, which the driveway is gated. His wife is waiting there with a big smile. She is surrounded by G-men with big guns. He enters the grounds and asks into the camera benevolently “Who says I am soft on defense?” The men are also in riot gear and leave the grounds as the gates close. The G-men take on a crowd of hungry and homeless people that have come to the gate for a handout. One of them is holding a newspaper with the headline “Bush has exhausted the Treasury in effort to rebuild Iraq , Sorry there is no more money for the U.S. ” The camera zooms back in on Kerry, which he says, “I am here for you because I am your friend.” His wife is by his side, smiling. Voice over says, Vote for your friend, vote for John Kerry. 
Steve Snyder is an aspiring writer, unfortunately that is all he has going for him since he is a total loser. He is unemployed and lives on his mother's couch. He also drives a terrible car and usually gets around via his brother's moped. All of his friend's are figments of his imagination. Steve is single and has no prospects for love. He also cannot read or write. The highlight of his life is to mow his mother's front lawn in his underwear (what a weirdo!). But we hope you enjoy his work nonetheless.