A few days ago, I was getting ready for a California Writers Club (CWC) board meeting at our house, so I went to the local Vons for some snacks.  It was really crowded.  They were having their GRAND OPENING, sort of like my mouth only smaller. 

Mary Black (You know that woman writer who has this marvelous story about Cardinal Richelou's cat?)raced up to me excitedly waving coupons, "Did you get your coupons?  I love all this free stuff!  This is so fun!" and she hurried off looking fit and energetic.  Gosh, she makes me so jealous. 

I reached down to get a loaf of bread from the bottom shelf, and I realized that I AM a little older than a half century.  I got hip pain so bad, tears sprang to my eyes.  It felt like my hip wasn't sitting right in the socket.  I do not want to think I have a spur...

Anyway, that's not what I wanted to tell you.  What I wanted to tell you was…

I hobbled to the check out and got behind a lady with a bunch of items. 
"It's 15 items,” the clerk said.
Don’t make me move too much.  I thought hard and she must have gotten my mental telepathy because the checker said, “You can stay. It’s okay.  Nobody sees the sign.” 
What a nice girl. 

Then I realized while I was looking through my coupons that I didn't get my free bacon."Can someone get this for me?" I said handing her the coupon.
"Oh honey," she says, "You have time.  It's just in the back of the store.  Go ahead."
(Says?  Says?  Here's where all my editor friends are rolling their eyes)
"I would but I wouldn't make it back again.  I did something to my hip." 
Here's where I lean forward and get a shot of blinding pain, which makes me start tearing up, right there in the busy check out isle.  So they got me my bacon. I don't like to think there is a big benefit from being old, but boy scouts do help me across the street now…

But that’s not what I wanted to tell you.  What I wanted to tell you was…

The checker finished zipping my carrots and cake and cookies, and then she says, "Well here's something that will make you feel better!" 
She grabs her mic and shouts over the speaker, "We have another ipod winner on checkstand two!"

I won an ipod!

WHAT?

I did. Me... the fat, old, lady with the bad hip pain.  I won an ipod.  One of those thingys that make you dance all over the house like you see on television. I wanted to run and find Mary Black, but my hip reminded me we had to go home.

When I got home and showed Glenn, he was drooling all over it.  He really wanted it.  And well, uh… I had won it and...

Well, I wanted it.

So I struggled with the idea of giving it to Glenn the whole day.  I felt guilty, but I didn't give it to him even though next month is his birthday.  I'm such a ratburger.  Why can't I give him the love he deserves and just hand it over?  He is the great music lover and unlike me he remembers actual titles of songs and the artist's name and all kinds of stuff.  I just remember the words and not all of them, but he listens to his music in his office all the time and I don't have a CD player in my computer or in my office;  my dvd player isn't working because I need a newer operating system…Uhhhh, I need to take a breath...

So I've been living without music. 

Or rather I’ve been hearing Glenn's choices muffled or booming through the wall.  Most times, I like what he likes, but I like what I like too, you know?  It's like, there is this circle of choice that his choice doesn't cover.
(Can't you just see the colored chart?)

So... (Oh, God, now my editor friends are twitching.  I used yet another conjunction to open a sentence!  Have I no shame?) 

Yeah. 

So I finally decided to at least try it, and it must have been meant to be... because, and here's the good part.

I put the CD in my computer and okay, I had to register it in my name... there it was. 

It was mine.

It was my birthday month.
God must have wanted to give me a gift.  Yeah, that's it. That's the ticket.

Also I looked up ipod on Amazon and you can get a used one for $45 dollars!  Or the new little tiny one for $80 and it has a gigabyte on it!

So okay, I started to figure it out.  I installed all the parts and then I opened iTunes and I read, “Download CDs.”  So I went in the living room and picked up a stack of dusty CDs that I haven't been listening to because I didn’t have a player, and I started feeding them to my ipod.  I just kept loading and loading and loading and then I clicked this “iTunesStore” button.  And Oh, Maw GAWD!  I suddenly heard "WALK THIS WAY!" in my head and I typed in just those words.  Because I wasn't sure what the title was and, and... I downloaded Aerosmith! 

And here's the neat part!  It only costs a DOLLAR!
Can you believe it?  A dollar for a song?

But oh, iTunes is going to get rich off me!  I looked up Lewis Black and, okay, well, first I had to look up "Black" and "Comic" on www.Goodsearch.com (CWC gets a penny for every search if you choose California Writers Club San Fernando Valley for  your charity) because I coudln't remember his first name and there he was, "LEWIS."

Now I'm loaded with Lewis Black.  And then I heard my mother singing in my mind "Life is just a bowl of cher-ries." So I downloaded Doris Day because she sounds like my mom.  And then well, I spent nearly twenty dollars grabbing music and laughter off the internet.  iTunes is going to make a lot of money off me!  I will definitely have to include it as a budget item. 

Do they sell books, you say?  Why yes, you can download Fannie Flagg's latest book "Can't Wait To Get To Heaven" for just $15 (abridged version).  You can get fellow writer, Bruce Cameron's audio books, "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter" and "How to Remodel a Man" for just $10! 
Ohhhhh, I'm salivating. 

Which makes me think, why aren't we all doing this?  It's so nice to sit and work and read a book at the same time.  Of course I am a multi-tasker, which makes me think I can do more than I can do.

It's a gift and a curse. 

Anyway, so then I have 137 songs and comic pieces on my little, significant, award - ipod.

And here’s what I wanted to tell you…

So finally at 3:20 am, I put the earplugs in my ears and turned it on and ... MAN.

The sound is so ... AMAZING!

I listened to Linda Ronstadt sing Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered in a hall where the sound echoed.  I felt like I was in that hall.  It was breathtaking. And then I found Jim Gaffigan's "Cake." Man, is that funny. I could listen to that over and over. I probably will.

So I went to sleep, knowing it was MY ipod.

I woke up and put my ipod earplugs on and I did all the wash and the dishes, I finished sending three books to the printers, I cleaned my desk, I printed and folded and stamped all the newsletters and sent them off.  I worked on my editing and did a little writing.  And I did all this laughing and dancing and singing!  I burst into the back yard when Glenn was taking a cigarette break and sang, "YOU GOTTA HAVE HEART..."  He laughed.  And he fixed my computer so that I can listen to iTunes outloud!

Ooooh, scary!

Oh, I'm listening to Debussy and... it feels like I am the instrument.  So haunting.  It feels like the melody is within me.

How did I live this long without music?

How did I forget how motivating music is?  It’s my new drug!  I’m addicted.  I’ve already had the ipod battery run out.  It is so fun!

I feel like I was sitting in the dark and someone turned on a light. 

" And now the purple dusk of twilight time
Steals across the meadows of my heart...'

Well, that’s it from LaLaLand.  And when I win the lottery next week, I will buy them in bunches so I can turn all of you on. In the meantime if you want to send me a belated birthday gift, I really like itunes cards.

Email Carol Wood at Carol@hazelst.com