Some days you just know Murphy’s Law is in effect. You know the law I mean, if it can go wrong it will go wrong. I don’t know why it’s called “Murphy’s Law” and not Adam’s Law. After all he was the first to have it all go down hill!

I live in the city but usually my street is pretty quiet at night. However lately, Jackson Street should be renamed “ Chopper Avenue”. A young couple moved in, and hey guess what their hobby is? Motorcycles!

All of their friends like motorcycles and trust me this young couple have a lot of friends! Consequently, of late, “to sleep, perchance to dream” as the Bard said, is a thing of the past. A sweet memory affectionately called upon when I put my weary bones to bed. I slip under the soft covers and say my prayers asking God to bless all my neighbors. I particularly ask Him to bless my young neighbors. “Please God, allow them to win the Lottery or inherit a great deal of money so they will move to a new location, Amen.” Perhaps it is a prayer of self-interest, but it is honest. So as you might expect, I awoke exhausted last Monday from Harley David dreams, tottered to the bathroom, took my shower and got dressed for work.

The walk to the subway felt awkward. I was stiff and my clothes felt funny. However, a moving subway waits for no man, so I rushed along and just made my subway and train connections. Arriving at work I was greeted by our Receptionist Brittney who already had a litany of problems awaiting my arrival.

“Maureen, there isn’t any toilet paper in any of the ladies rooms, the men’s rooms are okay though.” Brittney advised. The assumption being I guess that men don’t blow their nose as much as women!

“Oh and Nick bumped his head on the metal edge of a computer table. There’s blood all over the computer room. I think he’ll need stitches, they swathed him in bandages and he left to go home. The Outlook email system is down and Nick has left so he can’t fix it. There are a couple of people waiting to see you in your office, they don’t look too happy and I don’t know what the problem is”. Imagine, she said all of that without taking a breath…”ah youth, it is wasted on the young”.

“Is that all Brittney?” I asked sweetly.

Unaffected by the warning sweetness of my reply Brittney continued. “Yea, I guess. Oh, Ted called he’ll be in late; his dog is sick. Jeff is in and Peg is downstairs covering for Ted but no one is covering for Peg. People are calling and calling wanting her to arrange meeting space. The appointment books are in her office so I can’t help them. “ Youth then rested and waited for my response.

Well that accounted for my team members. “Ted’s dog is sick, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know but he sounded upset.” I’m sure she meant Ted and not the dog.

“Thanks Brittney, I’ll see you later.” I turned and went down the hall towards my office wondering who was in my office and what the problem was.

“Maureen!” Brittney called. I turned and went back to the Lobby. Brittney motioned for me to come closer to her desk. I bent my head down close to her and she whispered conspiratorially “Maureen, I think your pants are on backwards!” I stared blankly at her for a few seconds.

“My pants are on backwards?” I repeated dumbfoundedly. “Yea, I think so.” She said still whispering.

Just as I was about to take a quick backward look, two people came excitedly into the Lobby. “Maureen we were waiting for you in your office but heard your voice out here. “ I looked up to see two of my fellow Manager’s faces flushed and all a twitter. “What’s wrong?” I asked as we entered my office. I really hate to ask that question because people always follow it up with what is wrong!

“We forgot to tell you but we have eight consultants starting this week and three of them are here. They need a workstation, computer, working telephone and general supplies. The rest of the consultants should be here by the end of the week. We had to move quickly we just won a new project Friday and the client was us to start Tuesday, that’s tomorrow”. I stared at them. That little vein that lives on the right side of my temple had begun to throb. First, I know Tuesday follows Monday. As a young child my cousin Gerri had these cute little lacy underpants I always coveted, that had the days of the week on them..”Monday through Sunday”. Tuesday always followed Monday. That is until her dog Duke chewed up the laundry basket and “Monday” was no more! I have no idea how my cousin resolved that dilemma as we moved away. Second, space wasn’t a problem, but computers and telephones were.

“Well, I can give them workstations, no problem there. I’ll have to put in a request to our Help Desk for our IT department to set them up with equipment. By the way, Nick went home as he hurt his head. The IT department will be short handed today.” I remembered Britney said there was blood, I would have to call housekeeping.

Thanking me they left my office. One of the managers turned and came back in. Leaning low over my desk she said softly “Maureen, I think your pants are on backwards…I just thought you should know!”

Riiight! Well, I guess that accounted for the stiffness when I walked. I stood up and tried looking over my shoulder. Sure enough, when I wore these same pants last week, the little pockets with the flowers were in the front. Now each had a separate cheek to call its own. Drat! I got up and proceeded to go to the ladies room to make a quick change. Now self-consciously I walked down the rows of workstations thinking everyone was looking at my pants. Not a view I wanted on display.

I made it to the lobby and bathroom area without any crisis; I was almost home free. I passed the cleaning lady that was leaving the “necessary room” as I was entering. I guessed she had filled the stalls with the appropriate TP.

“Excuse me.” I said in passing.

“No problem.” she said.

I went in adjusted my wardrobe and while there availed myself of the facilities. Upon leaving I again ran into the cleaning lady that was now dusting in the Lobby. “Hey Lady, did you know…”

“Stop right there” I said. “My pants are fine, I just fixed them!” I turned and hurried on my way but heard her say to Brittney “Gee I was just going to tell her she has toilet paper hanging from her pants!”