A few months ago I read in “The Metro”, a free paper distributed all over the Philadelphia Rail system, that in ten years the banana as I know it will be extinct!

What's up with that! I love bananas! Apparently there is some sort of rot fungus, a fusarium wilt known as Panama disease or Race 4 attacking the roots of the banana tree. according to “The Metro” there isn't a known process to destroy the evil empire of the banana fungi.

Imagine that! A fungus without cure attacking helpless bananas! I shouldn't be too surprised; “fungus among us” has existed since man first went bare foot. Of course back then it wasn't called “Athlete's foot fungus.”

Can't you just picture some hairy early Homo sapien checking that “stuff” on the bottom of his foot and in between his simian like toes? Yuck!

Maybe it's the power of suggestion but lately I've been buying a lot of bananas. Eating my quota now and force feeding them to my tribe. Sliced banana on cereal, banana muffins (c'mon eat them, they're good for you!), banana bread, banana pudding and the all time favorite, Jello and bananas with whipped cream! Martha Stewart I'm not, some of these culinary fruit creations defy description. My banana cake sort of listed to the side like a sinking ship, and I forgot to dip the banana slices for the top of the cake in a little lemon juice so they turned this ugly shade of black that looked a lot like….fungus! I placed it in the center of the dining room table after dinner and tried to persuade my kids that although the banana slices looked a little weird, the cake would be delicious. Three pairs of eyes stared up at me zombie-like, mouths firmly shut, minds made up and nothing, not money nor love of mother was going to persuade them to take bite one of that cake.

Having learned my lesson with the banana slices, I decided to do something different with my banana cupcakes! Unfortunately as luck would have it I cooked them a little too long. The beautiful whipped icing all frothy and white on top hid a tad bit ugly black bottom. We do not refer to ugly black bottoms as “burnt”. The phrase “overcooked but still edible” applies at my table. My kids stared at the confection sitting in front of them and turned and looked at their Dad for help.

“Everyone take one of Mom's delicious cupcakes and let's go for a walk”.

Walk Huh! They weren't fooling me for minute, that walk would lead to a local Dumpster.

Later that night my husband decided it was time to end my culinary banana republic efforts at giving my children enough banana memories to last a lifetime. “Dear, when we go shopping tomorrow, why don't we pick up some nice oranges and some apples. I think everyone has had their fill of bananas.”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“Don't you understand that bananas are disappearing…our unborn grandchildren will never know the delight of this perfect and portable food. What kind of lunch will they be taking to school? Bananaless that's what and you know it's loaded with potassium.”

“Potassium? Honey, I think maybe you've been thinking about this too long and the kids are a little tired of bananas. Why not get a nice bag of granny apples? The kids love them and you could make one of your famous apple pies.

As we wandered around the fruit section of the food market I gazed wistfully at my colorful, little yellow friends all banded together in tight little bunch. I wondered if they knew they would soon be no more. If plants could feel music could bananas know that as a species they were being wiped out? I picked up a small bunch and said, “I'll miss you guys.”

I looked up and saw my husband staring at me.

“Honey, have you been taking your hormone replacement pills like the doctor said?”

“What! Grab some of that Kiwi and let's get going.”

On our way out of the supermarket I picked up a copy of “The Metro” and put it in the bag next to the eggs and the Kiwi. We headed home and as always our tribe of kids met us at the door and we brought all the groceries into the kitchen. As we emptied the bags, sorting and putting food away I wondered about the total global ramifications of a bananaless world.

My youngest child Heather lifted the latest edition of “The Metro” out of the bag and began reading.

“Hey Mom, look there's an article in here that says “chimpanzees will be extinct in 50 years”.

“Omigod!” I thought; “Quick, Heather give me the paper.”

My husband looked up a worried look in his eyes. "Honey, why do you want the paper. There isn't another banana recipe in there you want to try is there?”

“Not at all” I said a gleam in my eye, “I'm just looking to see if they list some exotic pet stores!”